*sigh* I feel stupid.

Lately, I’ve become very philosophical. I don’t know if it has to do with the fact that the world is going to end in eight days or because I’ve been studying too much? Anyway, I’ve been thinking, about life, friendship and change.

“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn’t stop for anybody.” 
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Change is constant. There is always something new, something different, something changing in our lives. But I don’t really like change. Just when you start getting used to something, it has to change. Just when I’m happy, things have to change. Then I have to start all over again. And its so difficult. And I’m so tired of it.

Tenth grade is almost getting over. And that makes me sad. Next year, its gonna be a new class, with new people, new teachers. I have to start getting used to it again. And making new friends? ughh. I don’t even want to think about it. It took me so long to make the friends I have now and I don’t think I want to do it all over again.

I guess mainly I’m just afraid. I’m afraid that I’ll grow apart from my old friends, that we’ won’t talk everyday like we used to. I’m afraid that everyone will be too busy for each other. I’m afraid of being left out, while everyone else makes friends. I’m afraid of being lonely.

‘I feel like a fool so I’m going to stop troubling you.” – Tegan and Sara, soil, soil.

 

I’m going to have to work very hard next year. I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it. I’m afraid I won’t have any time to write. In a few years, I’ll leave for college. I’m going to be alone for the first time in my life. That makes me feel afraid. I’m afraid everything is changing, everyone is changing, too fast. I’m afraid of time flying by too quickly.

But I know I can’t freeze time or stay this way forever. Because this is life isn’t it? Always changing, everyday different. There are hard times and good times. But we always make it through, even when we feel like we won’t. This thought comforts me. Sometime’s change is good.

So for all the other people who feel like I do, don’t worry. I’m trying not to worry. It’ll all turn out okay in the end. It always does, doesn’t it? Let’s just be happy now, in this moment and try not to worry too much about the future.

Do you feel like this too? Comment below and tell me what you think!

 

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6 thoughts on “*sigh* I feel stupid.

  1. heyyyyyyyy…alice, what’s up, babe??…*hugs you tight*…don’t be silly…nothing’s going to change..it’s all going to be okay…you may have been hurt by friends in the past, and you will have some who’ll hurt you in the future…but, trust me, time heals…and time brings you friends who’ll never change…and i count myself one among them…okay??..i’ll be here for ya…it’s all gonna be okay..and you’ll make it…through 11th, 12th, college, job…everything…you’ll make big in life..and i’ll keep nagging you till i get a book in my hand, who’s front page reads, ” A novel, By R.S.”…:)…
    okay??…*hug*…love you..:)

    1. thanks for saying that,,,,i needed it 🙂 I’m gonna be by your side forever too… BFF’s WOO HOO
      This post is just….I don’t know….I’m not usually so depressing. I was just feeling weird.
      Oh and I’d better get a book by C.T soon too….or else 😀

  2. well certainly not the post I was expecting from the mind I’d come to envy…..but yeah, you do speak great truths that we have to oblige some day in life.
    but then, you forget this is the age of connectivity where d world has shrunk across nations although i have to concede that walls have arisen within homes…which just means, there are friends across the world waiting eagerly in deservedness for u to touch their lives!
    how can u b so selfish to cage urself in ur humble home, while we await ur arrival? it might be a pain to endure as u fly out of this cage, but trust me, the world is more colorful and inspiring for ur mind to blossom!

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