Lately, I’ve become very philosophical. I don’t know if it has to do with the fact that the world is going to end in eight days or because I’ve been studying too much? Anyway, I’ve been thinking, about life, friendship and change.
“Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn’t stop for anybody.”
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Change is constant. There is always something new, something different, something changing in our lives. But I don’t really like change. Just when you start getting used to something, it has to change. Just when I’m happy, things have to change. Then I have to start all over again. And its so difficult. And I’m so tired of it.
Tenth grade is almost getting over. And that makes me sad. Next year, its gonna be a new class, with new people, new teachers. I have to start getting used to it again. And making new friends? ughh. I don’t even want to think about it. It took me so long to make the friends I have now and I don’t think I want to do it all over again.
I guess mainly I’m just afraid. I’m afraid that I’ll grow apart from my old friends, that we’ won’t talk everyday like we used to. I’m afraid that everyone will be too busy for each other. I’m afraid of being left out, while everyone else makes friends. I’m afraid of being lonely.
‘I feel like a fool so I’m going to stop troubling you.” – Tegan and Sara, soil, soil.
I’m going to have to work very hard next year. I’m afraid I won’t be able to do it. I’m afraid I won’t have any time to write. In a few years, I’ll leave for college. I’m going to be alone for the first time in my life. That makes me feel afraid. I’m afraid everything is changing, everyone is changing, too fast. I’m afraid of time flying by too quickly.
But I know I can’t freeze time or stay this way forever. Because this is life isn’t it? Always changing, everyday different. There are hard times and good times. But we always make it through, even when we feel like we won’t. This thought comforts me. Sometime’s change is good.
So for all the other people who feel like I do, don’t worry. I’m trying not to worry. It’ll all turn out okay in the end. It always does, doesn’t it? Let’s just be happy now, in this moment and try not to worry too much about the future.
Do you feel like this too? Comment below and tell me what you think!